Her Trusted Champion
by Athena mou
Summary: He was the last to come and see her. Dr. Clarkson almost turned him away, but as he noticed the look on Lady Mary's visitor's face, the Crawley family doctor simply nodded and showed him to Lady Mary's room. Carson's thoughts and observations of Lady Mary and Baby Crawley during the days and weeks following Matthew's passing. - S3 Christmas Special Spoiler Alert -
1. A Visitor

**Author's Note: **_While I work on the next chapters of Last Year of Innocence and The Rightful Heir, I give you a short little insight into Lady Mary and Mr. Carson. Since S4 starts up about six months after Matthew's death, I suspect that we will not be treated to anything like this. Consider it a missing scene playing out in my head that I wanted to share with you. **Tissue alert.**_

_I would also like to apologize for not responding to reviews and comments. Always know that I absolutely adore you for taking the time to share your thoughts. The reason/excuse, I hope, is a valid one. I got married on July 21st (who says you can't plan a wedding in six weeks?!) As you can imagine, I've had a lot of "stuff" on my mind because of that. LOL. And no... it was not a shotgun wedding (or a rocket wedding for that matter!)_

_…_

**Summary: - S3 Christmas Special Spoiler Alert - **_He was the last to come and see her. Dr. Clarkson almost turned him away, but as he noticed the look on Lady Mary's visitor's face, the Crawley family doctor simply nodded and showed him to Lady Mary's room._

Carson's thoughts and observations of Lady Mary and Baby Crawley during the days and weeks following Matthew's passing.

**Rating: **K

**Special Note & Thanks: **_A huge thank you to my super talented beta, **R. Grace,** for proofing this story!_

**Pairing: **Charles Carson/Lady Mary Crawley/George Crawley/Sybil Branson

…

**Her Trusted Champion**

**Part I – A Visitor**

He was the last to come and see her. Dr. Clarkson almost turned him away, but as he noticed the look on Lady Mary's visitor's face, the Crawley family doctor simply nodded and showed him to Lady Mary's room.

Lord and Lady Grantham had reluctantly left their grieving eldest daughter only moments earlier. Robert had practically had to physically carry his wife out of the room, as she did not want to leave Mary's side. It was only Mary's gentle request that she was tired and wanted to sleep that finally convinced the countess that they should indeed leave.

He stood for a moment by the door, just watching her. She looked so small in the bed, her face far from relaxed as she rested. Even though her eyes were closed, he could tell that she was not sleeping. Taking a tentative step into the room, he watched Mary's face for any sign of that she knew that she had company. A tiny sigh escaped her pale lips.

"Carson."

"I'm right here, my lady."

Her eyes fluttered open and he almost took a step back at the sadness in them. He stepped closer and she held out her hands to him. They felt cold and so small in his larger, warm ones. He automatically rubbed his thumbs over the back of her hands as if to stroke some warmth into them.

"You know…"

"I do."

Her eyes closed again, and her grip on his hands tightened. As painful as it was, he cherished that there was still some strength left in her. An insistent tug made him take a step closer.

"Please sit, Carson."

"But, my lady…" He couldn't just sit down on her bed.

"Sit." This time her voice held some sharpness to it. He instantly sat down, carefully balancing on the edge. Her eyes opened again and she leaned forward. "Oh, Carson, what am I to do?"

He let out a heavy sigh as her slender arms wrapped around his neck. Holding her in a gentle embrace, slowly stroking her back, Carson hummed an old tune that he used to sing to her when she was little. He had no answers for her. Of course she would get through this. She always did, never having been one to be down for long. But to tell her that now would only hurt her. Right now she did not want to get through it. Lady Mary was not ready to let go of Matthew Crawley. Carson knew it. She knew it.

"I cannot answer that, my lady," he said very softly. "All I can tell you is that you are surrounded by people who love you, and support you."

"I know." Her whispered answer broke into a tiny sob. "It just hurts so much."

"I know it does." He fell silent again, still slowly stroking her back. Mary rested her head on his shoulder and he started to hum that same tune again.

"I hope you will sing it to him too."

Carson opened his mouth to ask who '_he'_ was, when it came to him – _her son_. He had not even seen the boy, the new heir.

"If you allow me to, I most certainly will."

"I remember you singing it when I was little. It always made me feel safe." She pulled back and looked the old butler in the eyes. "You've always been so good to me, Carson. My true champion over the years."

"Always, my lady."

"Why is that?"

He chuckled, remembering a similar conversation years ago. "A certain young lady found her way into my heart many years ago, and she has not left, and I daresay that she never will."

She pressed her lips against his cheek. "Thank you. And please know that the feeling is mutual. You may work for my father, but to me, you're family."

"I'm honored, my lady."

"Have you seen him yet?"

He shook his head. "I came to see you first. You needed me more."

She nodded and covered her mouth as tears surfaced again. "I don't know how to do it on my own, Carson." Tears rolled down her cheeks and he gently wiped them away. "How can I be both mother and father? What if I'm a failure? What will I tell him, when he asks about his father?"

"One thing at the time, my lady. Right now he's just a little babe, and he needs your love and care more than anything. If you give him your love, unconditionally, he will feel it and draw strength from it."

She nodded, and met his eyes, knowing that his words held a double meaning. A gentle knock on the door made her look up. The nurse was standing there with the baby.

"Your son is awake, milady. I thought that perhaps you and your visitor wanted to see him."

Mary held out her arms to take the baby. "Come here, my sweetest little darling."

The baby moved in the blanket as Mary settled him against her. She looked up at Carson.

"Meet my son, Carson."

Carson gently touched the blanket, pulling it away a little so he could see the child better. The baby looked up at him with eyes so much like his mother's. His little arm waved in the air before it settled on Carson's hand, tiny fingers curling around the old butler's little finger. Mary laughed and stroked the boy's cheek.

"You're right, my darling. Carson is someone you can hold on to."

"He is a handsome little chap, my lady. He looks a lot like you."

"Isn't he? I don't mind if he looks like me, as long as he will have Matthew's wonderful personality."

"I can't wait to get to know him." Carson stroked the tiny hand and then placed it back on the baby's chest. "We're ready for you, both of you." He watched as the boy's eyes closed and he made a little smacking noise. "Mrs. Hughes put the crib in your bedroom."

Mary took his hand and squeezed it in a silent thank you. "I know it's not how things are done, but I need him close."

"Believe me, my lady, we all understand."

…

To be continued in _PART II –_ **Returning to Downton Abbey**


	2. Returning to Downton Abbey

**A/N: **_If you ever wondered if there was something, anything, that Carson could NOT do, well here's the answer… He is after all the Superhero of butlers._

…

**Part II – Returning to Downton Abbey**

The whole household was lined up outside Downton Abbey the day Lady Mary brought her son home. The maids tried to crane their necks to get a glimpse of the baby, earning a stern look from Mr. Carson in the process.

To Carson's surprise, it was the recently hired nanny who was holding the child, not Lady Mary. Remembering Mary's words from only days prior, this surprised him. It surprised him a great deal.

"I will bring him up to the nursery, my lady."

"Thank you, Nanny."

Lady Grantham smiled at her daughter as she took her arm. "Come, there's tea in the drawing room."

"How lovely." Mary returned the smile and the two walked off together.

Carson frowned at how Lady Mary had dismissed her son so quickly. Deep in thought he almost ran into Alfred who was coming upstairs with the tea tray.

"Watch where you're going, Alfred."

"Yes, Mr. Carson. I'm sorry, Mr. Carson. I didn't see you there."

"Um, well, yes… hurry up now, or the tea will get cold."

"Yes, Mr. Carson."

Carson huffed and watched the tall footman cross the grand hallway and disappear inside the drawing room. Pushing the green door open, Carson headed for downstairs. Still deeply bothered, he sought out the only person he knew would be able to shed some light on the situation. She was sitting in the servants' hall in quiet conversation with Mr. Bates.

"Anna, may I have a word?"

The two quickly scrambled to their feet at the sound of his voice. Anna nodded and followed him silently to his office. He gestured for her to have a seat and closed the door for privacy. Anna watched him, a somber look on her face.

"I will just come out and say it. Did something happen to Lady Mary, Anna?"

"What do you mean, Mr. Carson?" Anna fiddled a little with her sleeve. The conversation was clearly making her uncomfortable.

"When I came to see her only a few days ago she was unable to let her son out of her sight. Now she seems to be almost eager to have Nanny take him. What happened?"

Anna sighed and looked down. "She finally let it all out." Anna's whispered response was followed by silent tears. She looked up at Carson. "I don't know what to do, Mr. Carson. At first she was just inconsolable, then she became so angry," Anna started to tremble as she relived the moment. "I've never seen her so angry, Mr. Carson. It frankly frightened me."

"And the boy?"

"He was not in the room. The wet-nurse was with him."

"What?" Carson's eyes widened. "Mrs. Hughes told me that Lady Mary had been very firm on nursing the baby herself. Not that it is at all appropriate."

"I know, and she did." Anna got up and paced on the floor. "She has been crying a lot, but only when she's alone. I've heard her through the door. Then one morning it was as if she was an entirely new person."

He nodded. Lady Mary had always grieved in private, even as a small child. He still remembered her outburst as a seven year old, claiming that crying was for babies, not young ladies.

"And the child?"

"She's barely seen him since that morning. I bring him in, of course. She smiles at him and touches his hand or his cheek, but that's all."

"When she… was angry… what did she say?"

"That she was cursed, Mr. Carson," Anna whispered. Her tears started falling again. "That anyone she loves and cares for ends up dead. That it would be better for her son to be as far away from her as possible."

Carson closed his hand into a tight fist. He could feel Mary's pain in those words. "Stubborn young woman."

"Mr. Carson?"

"Never mind, Anna. Thank you for telling me." He got up and she jumped to her feet. "Please let me know if anything changes, either way."

"Lady Mary won't like it."

"I know, but I helped raise her, and I know how that complicated mind of hers works. We will get her through this, Anna. If we work together. All of us."

"Thank you, Mr. Carson."

He nodded and held the door as she hurried off, most likely returning to the servants' hall.

~ O ~

Carson took a slight detour past the nursery on his way back downstairs. It was a new habit of his that he had started after Lady Sybil's daughter was born. Approaching the room, he slowed down. He could hear a baby crying and little Sybil's happy baby talk. Carson frowned and opened the door. Sybil grinned and held up her arms to him when she spotted him.

"Cah."

"Hello, love. What's going on here?" Not expecting an answer from the toddler, he instead picked her up. Together they walked over to the other crib where Lady Mary's son lay wailing. "What's the matter, young man?"

Unlike with little Sybil, the baby boy was not soothed by Carson's presence. He just cried louder. Sybil pressed her hands against her ears. Carson kissed her head and put her down on the floor. She grabbed on to the crib, peeking at her cousin from between the bars. Before Carson could stop her, she reached in and touched the baby.

"No cry," she whispered.

The little boy was now turning red in the face, his little arms shaking as tears streamed down his cheeks. Carson sighed and reached down, gently scooping him up.

"Hush now, Master Crawley. Everything will be all right."

The baby was clearly not as certain. Surprised by the attention and warmth of Carson's chest he stopped crying, only hiccupping a little as he fussed around. Carson bounced him a little, stroking his back.

"Me!"

Sybil's cheerful yell startled the baby and he started to cry again. Sybil frowned and pressed her hands against her ears. Carson let out a heavy sigh and rolled his eyes. Looking down at the little girl, he to his dismay noticed her lower lip starting to tremble.

"Come here, little love."

Carson stooped down and scooped her up. Now cradling two children in his arms, one wailing, the other one sobbing and hiccupping he almost felt like joining them. Vowing to have a stern talk with Nanny later, he looked around the room for somewhere to sit.

~ O ~

Mary frowned when she heard her child crying. Why was Nanny not able to comfort him? She started to head in the opposite direction, towards her own room, but the insistent crying continued. She turned on her heel and stalked over to the nursery, almost throwing the door open.

"Nanny, what in the world…" She fell silent at the sight of Carson sitting on the little sofa with Sybil next to him and her son in his arms, the two trying to calm the little boy. "Carson? Where's Nanny?"

"'tie Maieh." Sybil smiled at Mary, clearly glad to see her.

"Hello, Sybbie darling."

"Baby cry," she stated firmly, as if to explain everything to Mary.

"I can hear that, sweetheart. What I don't understand is where Nanny is."

"My lady." Carson had scrambled to his feet, and was still bouncing the baby. "I suspect that Nanny is downstairs, assuming that these two are soundly asleep." He looked down at Sybil. "Miss Sybil needs changing, but I can't do that and hold the baby at the same time."

"Changing? Carson!" Mary chuckled, amused at the thought of him changing the toddler.

"I have changed a baby's nappy before, my lady. It's not just women's work."

"I suppose not, but still. Surely Nanny will be back soon."

"Perhaps. This young lady is starting to not smell like a little flower anymore," Carson huffed.

"Sybil?" Mary turned her eyes on her niece.

"Poo-poo," Sybil confirmed with a big grin.

Mary rolled her eyes. "Dear me."

"My lady? Would you..?" He held out the baby to her.

Mary seemed to hesitate for a moment before she finally nodded and took the baby from him. As if recognizing his mother, the little boy nuzzled her neck, grabbing the collar of her dress, making little mewling, hiccupping noises.

"Hush now," she whispered and stroked his back.

Carson watched them for a moment before turning his attention to Sybil. Picking her up, he brought her over to the changing table. He kept talking little nonsense to the girl, making her laugh. When he tickled her foot, she shrieked with laughter.

Mary watched them from across the room. Carson's easy rapport with her niece surprised her a great deal. Having never changed a diaper in her life, Mary had no idea where to even start. A little smile tugged on the corner of her mouth at the sight of the butler's large hand resting securely on Sybil's chest as he bent down to grab another nappy. Humming to the girl he washed her before securing the new nappy on her. Sybil seemed to approve of what he was doing, making little happy noises as she played with her lip. Finally done, Carson picked her up and she wrapped her little arms around his neck.

"Cah."

Mary swallowed hard, remembering her sister, Sybil's mother, doing the same when she was little. Her son moved in her arms, settling in, still nuzzling around like a little kitten.

"Thank you, Carson."

He nodded and bounced Sybil who was leaning her head against Carson's shoulder, sucking on two fingers as she watched her cousin with Mary.

"Mama," she whispered.

Mary swallowed and looked away, unable to meet her niece's eyes.

"My lady?"

"I have to go, Carson."

Mary headed for the crib and started to put the baby down. The instance he lost the warm comfort of his mother's embrace the boy started crying again. Mary sighed and held him closer again. He whimpered and cuddled close.

"He needs you, my lady."

"Oh Carson, he doesn't." Mary turned her grief-filled eyes on the old butler. "He's better off as far away from me as possible."

"Pardon me for saying so, my lady, but all he needs is for you to care about him, to love him."

"For now!" Mary's snapped response startled Carson. "If I set him free, he will have a better chance."

"Of what exactly, my lady?" She still refused to meet his eyes. "To grow up without both his parents?"

"You are out of line, Carson!"

Her fiery eyes finally met his. He could feel the anger radiating from her. The baby started crying again and she immediately hushed him.

"Lady Mary." His voice was soft, using a tone he only ever had bestowed upon her and her sisters. "You need him too." Mary glared at him and bounced the baby. The little boy was crying harder. "He's hungry, my lady."

"Fine," she snapped.

He watched her disappear around the screen in the corner, set up to give the wet nurse privacy when nursing the baby. Carson sighed and his shoulders slumped a little. A gentle touch to his cheek startled him. Sybil's gray blue eyes looked up at him.

"'tie Maieh?"

"Lady Mary is feeding the baby."

"Oh." The girl glanced over at the partition which hid Mary and the baby from view.

Carson ran his fingers over the little girl's soft hair. She was still gripping his jacket, as if afraid that he would leave her alone with her upset aunt. With the girl still in his arms, Carson walked over to the window. The room was quiet; the baby had stopped crying instantly once Mary settled down with him. Carson hummed softly to Sybil and she let out a heavy sigh before resting her head on his shoulder.

He had no idea how long he had been standing there. Sybil's little fingers slipped from their grip on his lapel, and her arm fell to her side. Her dark eyelashes rested gently on her soft cheeks as sleep finally came to her. She sighed, and he stroked her back. A sound from the other side of the room startled him. At first it was just a soft hum, but soon he could detect words as Mary's clear voice reached his ears. He put Sybil down in her crib, covering her with a soft blanket. Mary was still singing, but her voice became fainter and fainter and then it suddenly stopped. He turned, alarmed, to gaze at the screen. To his relief she appeared a moment later with the baby in her arms, the little boy sleeping soundly against her breast.

Carson stood silently watching her as she returned the baby to his bed. Her son fussed a little and she hushed him, humming softly as she covered him up. She stood there for a moment, her hands resting on the side of the crib, just watching the boy sleep. Finally she turned around and faced Carson. He calmly held her gaze as she walked over to him.

Mary stopped right in front of him. To his surprise, she threw her arms around his neck.

"I'm so, so sorry, Carson. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Of course, my lady." He stroked her back as she trembled in his arms. "I'm here for you. Always."

She pulled back and wiped her face. Meeting his eyes she nodded. "I know."

"We are all behind you, my lady. You tell us what you need, and we will do everything we can to help." He looked over at the crib holding her son. "Master Crawley has a lot of people who love him, but no one will matter as much as you, my lady."

"George, Carson," she said with a faint smile. "His name is George."

Carson smiled for the first time. It had been a concern to all of them that she had refused to name the baby.

"Master George Crawley. It's a good, strong name."

She nodded and stepped back. "He will need it."

"Master George will be just fine. I'm certain of it, my lady."

"And why is that, Carson?" She looked up at him with hope in her eyes.

"Because he has you, my lady, and he could not have a finer champion than his mother. I've known you for a very long time, my lady, and I _know_ you, sometimes perhaps better than you know yourself, if I may be so bold to say so." Mary huffed, but she smiled at him. "You are fiercely loyal to the ones you love. I know that you will make the right decisions for the both of you. Just remember, there are many people who are here to help."

"Thank you, Carson. You've always been my strength when I needed it. I will do my best."

"I know you will, my lady."

**_THE END_**

_**A/N:** Need a tissue, darling? I would love to hear your thoughts. I've been struggling with writing lately (dabbling with all sorts of things in order to get the muse interested again) so I could use some encouragement._

_On that note, I wonder if anyone has watched **Mr. Selfridge**. I am working on a **Agnes Towler/Henri Leclair** story that I need someone to beta for me (grammar, spelling, plot.) (My wonderful beta, __**R. Grace**_, hasn't seen the show yet.)


End file.
